Thursday, November 18, 2010

Hot Bean on Bean Action

Drug of choice? If you define choice as a free acceptance of the consequences of a decision – then I’ll have a double mocha with soy milk. That perfect trio of beans has to be the most delicious drug delivery system ever – even more so than Diet Cannabis Cola.

I am not a caffeine addict, and I don’t think I ever really have been. I’ve enjoyed it for days on end, but I’ve never had trouble giving it up because I never went too far with it for too long.

I love the rush. There’s a perfect level of tolerance – once every three weeks or so - where a cup of coffee will send my mood through the roof for the day. If I wait too long it either gives me the jitters and keeps me up all night or does nothing for me. If I do it too often I’m left tired and with a comedown.

The –ine family and I have a complex relationship. Novocaine and I don’t speak anymore – I had 5 mercury fillings drilled out of my skull and replaced with their non-toxic alternatives, all without going under the influence of anesthetics. My distaste for them has kept me away from Ketamine so far.

Cocaine is a trashy lover I see once every few years and afterwards I am left feeling dirty and distant.

Amphetamines are useful for nothing but cleaning the house.

But caffeine and its friends in tea and mate and chocolate – these are action drugs. These little helpers allow me to accomplish real things. I can be productive in every aspect of my life under the influence of a double soy mocha. It’s almost worth the endocrine disruption and the inhibition of the absorption of calcium and Vitamin C.

The most wonderful thing about coffee is that all of society agrees with me. It’s a drug I can buy anywhere, do in public without stigma, and with friends. Would that the rest of drugs were treated thusly…


Element K said...

Steamy, creamy, and just the right amount of froth. Pour me.

Diablolita said...

Mmmhmm u know just how I like it. ;)