S.B. 420

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This week I tender my resignation as Secretary and CFO of a mutual benefit non-profit organization with the purpose of enhancing the access of patients and caregivers to organically grown medical marijuana through collective, cooperative cultivation projects in California.

I am thousands of miles away and my prescription will lapse in just under a month. I step out of the world I never wanted to be in with some reluctance due only to the uniqueness of the experience.

I remember arguing with the ex-boyfriend about whether it was a good idea for us to go into business together both times that we drove an hour to sign papers with the lawyer. Screaming fights in the car: “WHY DO YOU BRING THIS UP NOW?!” “WELL ISN’T IT BETTER THAN NOT BRINGING IT UP AT ALL?!”, all smiles and gentleness and agreement when there – papers signed, and silence for the ride home. The lawyer looked like a Southern Baron, young, sloppy features, ill-fitting, white, three-piece suits. All fake wood, fake marble, fake leather office. So close to Los Angeles… and yet so far.

Now I’m still literally paying for starting businesses I know are a bad idea with people I know won’t make good business partners, which is certainly better than paying in time for starting a semi-legal business in a Red county. Best that I got away when I did.

Having the binders and the books and the scrips and the papers help, but in the end it’s still up to the cops and the county. Generally the ones on the bottom end, the ones that don’t sink money into lawyers and shields, are the ones that get busted. Still, even though rarely - sometimes it’s all on a grudge or whim. The ex goes to City Council meetings, introduces himself to the Sheriff and makes whatever contributions he can. More power to him.

Say what you want about the ex-lover – he grew some decent medicine. Most of the people we served were genuinely and sometimes gravely ill. Making medicine is a depressing business, even more so when you are addicted to the product. This thing I use to destroy myself helps others.

All y’all in the business: keep growing weed. For I sure as fuck ain’t gonna do it again, but I’ll smoke up yours on occasion.