I peer out of the tunnel to see the overcast sky match the river’s fixed course concrete bed in tone. A burst of color wheels by, purple spandex and early-morning motivation atop an expensive and relatively new bicycle. Young, taut, fresh, fit flesh shines out in the morning light, diffuse though it is. I suddenly realize that I am starving.
Innocently exercising to extend her life - Sally never suspects that she’ll end it in the river. She’s left Jed at home in bed, sleeping peacefully. She likes to be gone in the mornings, because that’ when he wants sex - and she doesn’t want sex. She never wants sex, she just wants to keep moving - so she doesn’t have to think about anything. Thinking about things lead her down bad roads. Scary roads.
Jed paid for her bike though, that’s nice of him considering she only lets him have sex with her once a month. She tries to time it so that he doesn’t realize it’s once a month, though - but let it average out that way. She hopes she isn’t damaging her vagina with even that much. Jed is an agent and she knows that he will soon get her a good part, because she takes care of her body better than anyone else. She knows that if she just lets Jed have it once in a while he’ll put her on a pedestal, so she pretends to be one of those kind of girls. Deep inside that’s not how she feels though. Deep inside she doesn’t ever want to be penetrated by anyone. She wants to cage off anything deep inside. She makes sure her body knows who is boss. *fsk fsk fsk* that’s the sound her pedaling makes. It keeps her centered. She needs to be centered.
All of this flashes before me in a blur of purple spandex. A flash of my former power gives me such hope, but it is crushed by the smell of her sweat and the contents of her mind, heart, and soul. Before I’ve realized what’s happened I am devouring her body. I shudder at the animal instincts and yet take deep pleasure in them. The metallic taste of her blood bothers me so I dig into her organs. I am feasting on her intestines when Janine finds me there, blood and entrails dripping off of my chin, grinning and slurping. Muted sunshine glinting off the blood covered bicycle beside me. Sally’s face frozen in shock.
Janine crumbles to the ground sobbing. Before I know it I am at her side, I want to soothe her, to take her pain on with my own - still throbbing in my head and temples despite the sleep and food. I want to suck it out of her, to relieve her, to save her and protect her. I sing to her a lullaby with no words. She tries to push me away but my rocking and cooing relax her and she leans into me crying.
“I was hungry, I didn’t know. That’s the most action Sally will ever see. I won’t do it again. I have to leave.” I try to say something to get her to stop crying, and the promise not to repeat the murder is what does it. She calms and nuzzles into me.
“So do I, motherfucker - the police on they way for a nice neurotic white girl like that in seconds.” I am surprised to see her know what kind of person Sally was. It makes me wonder whether my flash of information was psychic or just human intuition. Janine races to her hole to pack her belongings. I see that she is used to doing this. It is unceremonious and unsentimental. I am glad I have not put her out. I walk to her and put my hand on her shoulder.
I realize I have true emotion for her. “Janine I will give you money, when I have it. You will have all the drugs you need. You will never fight again. I will find you in the river” She shakes her head, I am not sure if out of disbelief or incredulity.
“No shit Sherlock, I live here all the time.” she says. Then she smiles at me and puts her hand in mine. “Good luck, Angel. You definitely not human, don’t think I don’t know.”
“I wish that were true.” I admit. “I am not sure what I am.”
As she walks away I realize she has left in my palm a balloon containing 200mg of black tar heroin. I reach up to my face and find it wet.
Innocently exercising to extend her life - Sally never suspects that she’ll end it in the river. She’s left Jed at home in bed, sleeping peacefully. She likes to be gone in the mornings, because that’ when he wants sex - and she doesn’t want sex. She never wants sex, she just wants to keep moving - so she doesn’t have to think about anything. Thinking about things lead her down bad roads. Scary roads.
Jed paid for her bike though, that’s nice of him considering she only lets him have sex with her once a month. She tries to time it so that he doesn’t realize it’s once a month, though - but let it average out that way. She hopes she isn’t damaging her vagina with even that much. Jed is an agent and she knows that he will soon get her a good part, because she takes care of her body better than anyone else. She knows that if she just lets Jed have it once in a while he’ll put her on a pedestal, so she pretends to be one of those kind of girls. Deep inside that’s not how she feels though. Deep inside she doesn’t ever want to be penetrated by anyone. She wants to cage off anything deep inside. She makes sure her body knows who is boss. *fsk fsk fsk* that’s the sound her pedaling makes. It keeps her centered. She needs to be centered.
All of this flashes before me in a blur of purple spandex. A flash of my former power gives me such hope, but it is crushed by the smell of her sweat and the contents of her mind, heart, and soul. Before I’ve realized what’s happened I am devouring her body. I shudder at the animal instincts and yet take deep pleasure in them. The metallic taste of her blood bothers me so I dig into her organs. I am feasting on her intestines when Janine finds me there, blood and entrails dripping off of my chin, grinning and slurping. Muted sunshine glinting off the blood covered bicycle beside me. Sally’s face frozen in shock.
Janine crumbles to the ground sobbing. Before I know it I am at her side, I want to soothe her, to take her pain on with my own - still throbbing in my head and temples despite the sleep and food. I want to suck it out of her, to relieve her, to save her and protect her. I sing to her a lullaby with no words. She tries to push me away but my rocking and cooing relax her and she leans into me crying.
“I was hungry, I didn’t know. That’s the most action Sally will ever see. I won’t do it again. I have to leave.” I try to say something to get her to stop crying, and the promise not to repeat the murder is what does it. She calms and nuzzles into me.
“So do I, motherfucker - the police on they way for a nice neurotic white girl like that in seconds.” I am surprised to see her know what kind of person Sally was. It makes me wonder whether my flash of information was psychic or just human intuition. Janine races to her hole to pack her belongings. I see that she is used to doing this. It is unceremonious and unsentimental. I am glad I have not put her out. I walk to her and put my hand on her shoulder.
I realize I have true emotion for her. “Janine I will give you money, when I have it. You will have all the drugs you need. You will never fight again. I will find you in the river” She shakes her head, I am not sure if out of disbelief or incredulity.
“No shit Sherlock, I live here all the time.” she says. Then she smiles at me and puts her hand in mine. “Good luck, Angel. You definitely not human, don’t think I don’t know.”
“I wish that were true.” I admit. “I am not sure what I am.”
As she walks away I realize she has left in my palm a balloon containing 200mg of black tar heroin. I reach up to my face and find it wet.
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